


one creature's torment

by SelkiePrime



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, I have a pretty decent idea of where this is going but no idea how long it will be, Mentions of Suicide, Some Humor, death of a character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26869594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelkiePrime/pseuds/SelkiePrime
Summary: Alternate ending to Deja Q. The Continuum isn't convinced of Q's change of heart and sends him to the Enterprise as a ghost with an unknown purpose. || Picard wonders if he's the one being punished.
Relationships: Data & Q (Star Trek), Jean-Luc Picard & Q
Kudos: 6





	one creature's torment

"Well...I suppose that is the end of Q."

__

Au contraire, mon capitaine.

-x-

The nebulous space between life and death was like floating in a dream. Q had never dreamed before, even in his short stint as a mortal, but he'd heard enough about them to know what it was like, in a distant way. Some dreamed of flying, others of sex, fear. Mortal ideas. He had never known anyone to dream of pain. 

But the pain he'd felt as the Calamarain tore him to pieces had faded to something like a sweet bliss, sitting on the edges of his synapses, as though he were in someone else's body. Q held onto that feeling like a buoy on the sea, moored to his own, infantile humanity. The memories of the last few days were there as well, blending together and making him feel out of sorts. 

He didn't like it. Not knowing which way was up was a human feeling.

Of course, with the Continuum, it was possible there was no longer an "up" or "down" for him. He was sure, in his heart of hearts, he would never get used to the physicality of mortality. But losing that sense of balance, as new as it had been, was like a cosmic rug pulled from under his feet. 

There had been members of the Q who had died as humans but had anyone looked into what the afterlife was like? Surely it was not this. Not this blackness, space distorted, floating like a fetus in the womb. 

Privately, because that was all he had any longer, he cursed Picard, he cursed Guinan, the Q. Himself. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. The end of a millennia-long life. Godlike, _omnipotent._ Thrown into the vacuum of space like garbage. It was tragic, it was _unfair._

"You know Q, you really do talk too much." The voice echoed uncomfortably in his ears. Q recognized the voice and knew it was the Q who preferred to take on the visage of a blond human man. He had seen him for a few moments before the shuttle had been destroyed. Even though he was so very angry at everything, the relief he felt at the sound of the voice was almost sensual.

"I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of joke, huh?" said the blond Q. 

Q couldn't see his annoying compatriot but he had the feeling of someone in front of him, looming. If only he could open his blasted eyes for a moment! Imagine having eyes!

"You're right. It is a joke. But no one's laughing." In a sudden, blinding flash, Q found himself sitting on the floor of a white room with white walls and white furniture. 

"Do you like it? We had it redone, just for you." In a desk at the far wall sat the other Q, no longer wearing the dreary gray jumpsuit to mimic the fallen Q but instead wearing the uniform of a Starfleet Admiral. "New furniture, some paint."

Q--the Q, he'd always considered himself privately--was still wearing the clothes he'd supposedly 'died' in. If this was Hell it was working. He'd ascend to sainthood if it meant wearing anything else. 

"You could at least explain what's going on," Q told his un-friend. "As much as I enjoy our talks, you do have me at a disadvantage."

"The Continuum has tolerated your attitude for a long time. You've been a thorn in a lot of sides. And I don't mean that as a compliment." Blond Q ruffled the leaves on a plastic plant that sat on his ugly desk. The whole place reminded Q of a doctor's office on Earth, all clean lines and antiseptic. 

"You were supposed to be punished, brought low. Defrocked, as you said." He looked at Q, sitting on the floor like a child. "You tried to escape your sentence, to kill yourself. We let you. But was it really enough?" He rubbed his neck and chin as though he were considering his own words, considering the sentence to be carried out. Judge, jury, executioner. 

Well too late for that. The Calamarain had beaten him to it.

"So this is it? My denouement? The end of Q as we know him." Death, in so many words.

"Well..." the other Q looked down his nose at his fallen comrade. "Not quite. We're prepared to give you another chance." He winked at the sitting, mortal Q.

"We'll be watching you," Q heard as he felt his senses melt away and the room bled to nothing, once more.

\--

The mood in Ten Forward after Q's sacrifice was not overly melancholy. Most of the crew had not even interacted with the strange entity and those who had had never been quite sure how to feel about him.

"Still, he did try to help us," Geordi said as he and Data nursed drinks at the bar. It had taken a few weeks but he no longer needed to wrinkle his nose at the smell of Data's nutrient suspension. 

"I doubt it was for altruistic reasons," Guinan said, taking away a customer's empty glass and replacing it in one swift movement. "Q never did anything for anyone if he wasn't going to get anything out of it."

Geordi shrugged. 

"It is regrettable," Data interjected, "Q had seemed different near the end."

"Humans do have to grow up fast," Geordi reasoned.

"And in the end, we did manage to help Bre'el IV."

Geordi nodded, lost in thought. They'd pushed the Enterprise's systems to her limit and had managed to eke out, however slowly, enough progress to fix the moon's trajectory. 

Holding his glass up, Geordi turned to Data. After a moment, Data realized his friend's meaning and gently touched his glass to the other.

"To Q, wherever he is, and to Bre'el IV."

-

Q woke up in the Enterprise's medical bay feeling nothing at all. Around him, Dr. Crusher and her minions in blue treated various patients with their pitiful problems. He waited to be noticed. He sat up. No one reacted. 

"Really, Crusher? Is this how you treat your patients?" he said loudly. No one seemed to hear him. That was frightening all on its own.

Experimentally, he snapped his fingers. A tiny spark of light fizzled around them but nothing happened. He focused on returning to the Continuum. Nothing happened. The other Q's words echoed. "Another chance," he'd said. Well, he could stuff it as far as Q was concerned. 

Q hopped down from the medical bed and promptly fell through the floor. It took a few seconds of desperate scrambling to keep from floating straight through the Enterprise's decks and back into the vacuum of space. With some concentration, he could control himself. He didn't know what would happen if he left the Enterprise but a feeling in his gut said it wouldn't be good. Huh. A gut feeling. That was new. Did he still have a gut?

Floating towards Picard's ready room only took a moment. The bridge crew was staring dully as the stars swept past in a white haze. Q wondered how they weren't bored to tears, barely able to explore a fraction of a fraction of the universe like this, spending lifetimes moving at a snail's pace. He stopped in front of Data. The android was at the helm, talking idly to the ensign next to him. Q got into the android's face, close enough to kiss. Nothing.

Hmph.

Q slipped into Jean-Luc's ready room. The Captain was at his desk, engrossed in one of his novels, no doubt mourning the loss of Q with his usual stoicism. Fine, if Q was to be a ghost then he would use that to his advantage. He was prepared to haunt the living daylights out of his enemy-rival-friend. But he never quite got the chance as Picard looked up for a moment and promptly fell out of his chair.

"Q!" 

The world went sideways and Q once again could do nothing but make sure his new body did not fall through the floor.

"Really, Jean-Luc, yelling my name like that," he said, metaphorically pulling himself up, but it was all for show. He would have said anything to avoid "Wait, you can see me?" because that such a cliche. 

"We thought you were dead," Picard said, standing up. He reached to his chest to press his combadge but Q shook his head quickly. Picard hesitated, sitting his book down.

"What happened?" he asked the entity. He looked as though he was already regretting not calling Riker but Q could at least rely on Picard to listen to him, however hesitantly.

Q shrugged. "I died," he laughed. "That was the plan, after all."

"But you're back," Picard pointed out.

"In a manner of speaking." Q stalked to the small aquarium in the corner of the ready room. 

"I'll grant you this isn't going to mean much since I am, or was, Q, but just try to use your brain for once." Q stuck his hand through the glass of the aquarium. The lionfish seemed to take no notice of a foreign beast in his home. Q pulled his hand away from the glass, the skin and sleeve bone dry.

"No one else can see me, except you Jean-Luc. How lucky you are."

Picard looked as though his luck had run out on him like an unfaithful spouse.

"Do you remember when we quoted Hamlet at each other, Jean-Luc? What a wonderful time that was," Q said without waiting for a response.

"Yes, if I recall, you tried to corrupt Riker and came very close to killing Tasha with your 'penalty box.'"

"Oh, killing, corrupting. Such negative words. It was nothing but a game. Terribly fun."

"Terrible indeed! People died, Q!" Picard said, keeping his voice down even while emotion bubbled up from him.

"Well, this time it's me who died. Where's your compassion? Hm? Does it run out when you get to me?"

"It seems death has done nothing to give you any perspective," Picard said, with a snort.

"So you do believe me," Q said. 

"No," the Captain said with conviction. "Not yet. You are patient. I think it's very possible this could be another game."

Q rolled his eyes. "We're moving away from the point, Jean-Luc."

"Why do you want me to remember Hamlet of all things? Are you comparing yourself to the King in the story? Why am I not surprised?"

"But you did think I was dead before I came here. So what's changed?" Q carefully "sat" in the chair in front of Picard's desk. He considered putting his feet up on the glass but didn't.

"I thought you had died because you did not come to gloat about saving us from the Calamarain," Picard answered with a simple shrug. "Plus, Guinan believed it, and I trust her word."

"That imp," Q swore. 

Picard gave him a sour look. "Q, this is all very well, but either go back to the Continuum or tell me why you're here."

"Because I can't leave, that's why," Q admitted. "I'm stuck, as far as I can tell." 

"Are you trying to tell me you're a ghost? Are you haunting my ship?" 

"Whatever the Q equivalent of a ghost is, I suppose. Those bastards in the Continuum felt my 'sacrifice' was too convenient. I hadn't learned my lesson. Running away, they called it. What nonsense." 

"If I ever meet another member of your species, it will be too soon," said Picard, standing. 

"I don't quite understand what is going on here, Q," Picard continued, "but I will help you if it means getting you off my ship once and for all."

"Help me?" Q asked, his nose wrinkling snidely.

"Yes," Picard said. "Help. Because if the Continuum needs you to learn a lesson then perhaps you and I can figure this out and fix this. And you can leave me alone."

Q stood and looked at his fingernails nonchalantly, though his thoughts were on fire. Could he return home? Could he become omnipotent again? Frankly, the thought was almost sinful.

"I accept your help, Jean-Luc," he said. "Forgive me if I don't shake hands. It's hard enough keeping my feet on the ground."

"It often is," Picard said, nodding. And that was that. Q had a friend.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this before with shorter chapters but eventually took it down as I was unhappy with it. With some tweaking and longer chapters, I think it could be a fun little story. Feel free to comment! Always love hearing feedback. (Quick note: neither Picard nor the Qs' attitude towards ending your life is mine and is simply based on the attitude in Star Trek)


End file.
